Perfect Timing
by TheGirlWhoCan'tBeMoved
Summary: Can Rory stop Jess from leaving? What happens when the words you need to say are just too far from your reach? Set during and in the aftermath of Keg!Max! New chapter up now...complete.
1. Chapter 1

_The first part has dialogue taken from Keg! Max! but I have changed it slightly to fit in with my story. Hope you like it! :)_

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Rory found Jess leaning against a solid, wooden dresser in the barely lit gloom of Kyle's bedroom.

**R: There you are.**

He looked up at her, the only person at the party that he actually wanted to spend time with. Hell, the only person in the state of Connecticut that he wanted to spend time with. But at that moment he really didn't want her to be there. He knew she would want to talk to him and conversation was the furthest thing from his mind.

**J: Hey. **

**R: I've been looking all over for you. **

**J:Just got tired of everything down there. **

**R: Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it. **

**J: When you have a party, you get what you get. **

**R: Yeah, I guess. Sad boy, what's wrong? **

She reached out a hand, gently caressing his cheek as she attempted to soften his frowning features into a smile.

**R: You were looking forward to this party, what happened? **

**J: Nothing. **

**R: Something did. Come on, tell me. **

He leaned in towards her inviting a tender kiss as her soft lips brushed against the rougher surface of his own.

**R: You're not tired of me, are you? **

He answered silently with another kiss, the perfect bow of her pouting lips crushed beneath the fervour of his response. Their open mouths met in a slow burning frenzy, as he gave himself to her in a convincing embrace.

**R: That's a pretty good answer. **

He realised that when he pressed himself against her, when he felt the welcoming parting of her lips with his tongue that he couldn't think of anything else. It was a release from the reality he couldn't face and he wanted to feel that oblivion again.

Their lips met once more and he steered her towards the bed and in seconds found himself lying unchallenged on top of her.

He could see the colour he had raised in her cheeks and felt the inflaming movements of her body against his.

He slid cool hands under her sweater finding smooth, bare skin as he pulled her hips closer to his own. Rory was surprised by the movement, suddenly greatly aware of the firm, heavy heat of him weighing down on her. He braced himself above her, one of his hands buried in the velvet curtain of hair falling at her neck. His other hand was at her stomach, his fingers travelling lower to rest dangerously close to the waist of her jeans.

**Jess, wait. . .** lost in the sweet heady perfume of her hair he carried on, too distracted to notice her growing discomfort.

**Jess, wait. . . **oblivious to her mumbled protests he grasped blindly at the buckle on her belt as he continued to hungrily kiss the soft, warm skin of her neck.

**Jess! **

He felt her hands press forcefully against his chest and he immediately shifted his weight allowing her to escape from underneath him.

He could feel the tingling imprint of her along the length of his body, the sweetness of her skin still fresh on his wet lips. Despite the guilt he felt at his reckless actions, a part of him still craved her touch. He wanted to feel the soft curves of her body as they moved enticingly against his own. Those feelings created a cocktail of lust and self loathing that chased the adrenaline through his adolescent veins.

**R: Not here, not like this. **

**J: Fine. **

**R: What's wrong with you? **

**J: Nothing's wrong with me. **

**R: Someone could have walked in that door. **

**J: And Santa Claus could come down the chimney, whatever. **

**R: You did not think that it was going to happen like this, did you? **

**J: I don't know what I think anymore. **

**R: Why are you being like this…**

**J: Rory, stop, just stop! I did not invite you up here, you came up here on your own! **

**I didn't make you, I didn't force you. It's not my fault! You always make it my fault!**

**R: I- **he didn't want to hear her speak just to blame him again.

**J: I can't breathe Rory! I feel suffocated! By you, your mom, Luke, this whole town! It's not who I am and it's not what I want to be. I can't be around you right now, I need space.**

**R:You need space?**

She walked towards the door, tears spilling from the piercing blue eyes he knew so well.

**R: I can give you space Jess. **

With those words she flung open the door, running away from him and the spiteful things he had just said.

It had been easy for him to lash out at her with barbed words, much easier than saying what he really wanted to.

He looked down at the floor not really knowing what to do. There were always so many thoughts racing around his head that he never knew how to say them, how to tell her how he really felt.

Not talking to her obviously wasn't working and neither was telling her to back off. Everything he'd been doing so far was wrong and it had led him to this point, where the only person he had ever cared about was running away from him. Well he was done with pushing people away. He had to talk to her properly and it had to be now whilst he still had the courage.

He made a quick exit from the room, pausing at the top of the landing to search the crowd below him.

He made a path down the narrow stairs, shoving people out of the way as he moved in her direction. Then he saw her with him. His hands were on her shoulders, his fingers stroking the top of her arms in gentle soothing movements. He could see the tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks, her shoulders shaking as she struggled to calm her breathing. Jess should have been the one to comfort her but he wasn't a bit surprised to find that Lerch had gotten there first.

**Figures. **

He walked straight past them, he heard a shout, felt a hand on his jacket but it didn't quite catch hold. He was already out of the door, across the front lawn and into the street as he quickened his pace to a run, unshed tears stinging at the back of his eyes.

* * *

He thought he would just leave, get as far away as possible. She sure as hell didn't need him there screwing everything up. He was hurting her, he only had to remember the look on her face after he had shouted at her in Kyle's bedroom to be sure of that. He would never forget her eyes, swimming with tears of confusion and despair. She had finally realised that he was everything they had always said he was.

He stopped running as soon as he realised he had no where to run to.

He couldn't go and he couldn't stay. There was nobody for him to turn to. No one that cared.

He sunk to the ground, drawing his knees up close to his heaving chest. His fingers dug into his thick hair as he tried to sort through his thoughts but they kept returning to the same thing. There was only one person on his mind and he had never been able to shift her, even when he had so desperately tried.

Jess had always been so sure that he and Rory belonged together even if he had never understood why. The first time they had met, he had seen it. Seen in her everything he had been looking for and everything he would ever need. But now he felt that maybe he had been wrong, that they didn't quite fit after all.

Everything they had ever shared had been stolen. Their first date was a picnic meant for someone else. Their first kiss, had been a stolen embrace whilst she still belonged to Dean. They made a connection for the first time over their mutual love of the beat generation, he had even written in her copy of 'Howl' but he had stolen that from her too. Huh, he shook his head as he realised he really was like Dodger- always moving, weaving in and out of peoples lives causing chaos. She had seen him for what he really was even back then.

But he had only started to realise just how much he liked her after he'd jumped into that stupid sleigh with her. He had spent the whole day just wondering how he could spend time with her alone. He had seen her sitting there alone, wrapped up against the cold and he had grasped the opportunity without thinking twice. He was intrigued by this girl, she kept his attention like no one else ever had. When she looked at him he knew there was something special in those brilliant blue eyes that sparkled just for him. He wanted to know more about her, he wanted to know it all. He could spend hours listening to her, just looking at her.

But now as he sat with his back against the rear entrance of Al's Pancake World, he couldn't help thinking that maybe, they'd always just been living on borrowed time.

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**Jess**.

He heard a voice, her voice and he looked up into a pair of blue eyes glittering expectantly in the streetlights hazy glare. He was angry that she had come to find him. Not so much at her but with himself for giving her the opportunity. He should have been long gone by now, somewhere where he didn't have to see or think about her. At that moment he hated her and she could see it there, the contempt etched into every feature of his face. He hated that she made him feel like this, but most of all he hated the fact that he couldn't hate her. It wasn't her fault. It was all down to him.

He had to talk to her, tell her what was going on. The reason he had been acting like such a jerk. He knew if he didn't he could lose her forever but if he did she might realise he wasn't worth it after all.

**R: I've been looking for you.  
J: And two hours later you found me, impressive. Do the search and rescue guys know about you? They really should snap you up for a position at USAR.**  
Sarcasm was his favourite defence mechanism, it had never failed him in the past but he already knew it wasn't going to work this time.  
**R: Jess.  
J: That's me. **  
Neither one said anything, and the silence stretched out creating an invisible wall between them. Predictably it was Rory who attempted to break it down.  
**R: So?**  
He didn't speak, answering only with a shrug of his leather clad shoulders.  
**R:You have nothing you want to say to me.**  
**J: Look Rory, what ever it is that you want from me I don't have it! Okay? What you need I can't give you.  
R: The truth Jess. I want the truth. Those things that you said, they really hurt me and I don't deserve to be spoken to like that, especially not by you. I know that you're angry, I just don't know why.  
You didn't mean what you said?**

It was a question as much as it was a statement but Jess offered her no response. He wouldn't even look at her.

**R: Did you? **  
She asked again and Jess felt like the biggest jerk in the world but he just couldn't speak. His mind was blank, everything he had wanted to say had disappeared under the pressure of her questioning gaze. She wouldn't want to hear the truth anyway and he really didn't want to tell it.  
Tears of frustration gathered in her eyes and he felt the shame of his silence burn into the hollow spaces inside him, knowing it would never leave.  
**R: Why won't you talk to me? I never know what you're feeling or why you feel that way. You have to let me in Jess!**  
He still couldn't find any words, he didn't know if he would ever have the right words to tell her how he felt and it was destroying both of them.  
**R: You know what, I give up! I can't make you talk to me and I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you like this! **  
She gave him one last searching look, a silent plea struggling to engage him in any kind of conversation. Tears slipped silently from beneath her closed eyelids, her head dropping as it became too painful to return his seemingly apathetic stare.  
She turned to leave unable to watch him just sitting there, crumpled desolately in the closed doorway.

**J: Wait…Rory wait, please! **  
She stopped still in the cool night but didn't dare turn and look at him.  
He scrambled to his feet, deciding as he did that he had nothing left to lose. She wouldn't want him after he told her anyway, but he wasn't going to take the easy way out. If this was it for them then he wasn't going to lose her without a fight. If he was ever going to have anything good in his life then he so badly wanted it to be her.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for all your lovely reviews. This is the concluding part of this particular story, but I'm already working on another one!_

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It seemed like the whole night had frozen in anticipation, waiting for the words that might thaw the ice like tension. Jess silently pleaded with Rory to turn around but she didn't move. He could almost see her compiling the pro/con list in her mind and he had to admit it was unlikely to come out in his favour. He pictured her walking away, leaving him forever and he cursed himself for not running away when he had the chance. Leaving Rory behind wouldn't be easy but it would kill him to stay there one minute longer knowing she had given up on him. He would leave, he had to. It would be best for both of them but she deserved an explanation first. He at least owed her that.

**J: This is really difficult for me, Rory. But I need to...I...just let me explain. Please.**

She could hear the desperation in his voice as he tried to reach out to her. She could almost feel the heat of the conflict raging inside him. His need to finally confide in someone was struggling against his overwhelming instinct to shut her out completely.

She turned around slowly, fighting the urge to run from him and all the damage he could do to her. She was sure their future happiness depended on this conversation and she really didn't feel strong enough to deal with his rejection.

**J:I'm sorry about what happened before. I never meant for that to happen. You're not ready and I'm cool with that.**

**R: Then why did you get so upset with me?**

**J: I don't know. I guess I was angry at myself for putting us in that position. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to be with you and I got carried away.**

**R: Yeah well its all about timing Jess and yours is lousy. **

**J: It always has been.**

**R: Why were you up there anyway? You were in an horrible mood all night. **

**J: Yeah cos' I'm usually Mr Sunshine.**

Sometimes he found it too difficult to give a straight answer to a straight question, especially when so much depended on the answer.

**R: This is only going to work if you answer me honestly Jess. There's no point in either of us being here, doing this if you don't. **

He took in a breath, readying himself for a whole world of pain. He was just waiting for her to leave him so he could continue along the self destructive path he was destined to follow.

**J: I can't take you to the prom.**

**R: This is about the prom?**

**J: No, not really. It's complicated... **His voice tailed off, already unsure of where the hell he was going with this. What was the best case scenario here? He was going to lose her anyway, if not now then someday soon. He would screw up again and it wouldn't take long for her to realise she could do so much better than him.

**R: Well I don't understand. You don't want to take me to the prom. I mean I guess I should have expected you to back out of it but-**

**J: Don't you think there might be a reason I can't go! Or do you think I'm that much of a jerk that I'd just change my mind?**

Rory shifted uncomfortably, looking guiltily down at her feet.

**J: Yeah well I gave you my word but I can see how little that means to you.**

He was angry, disappointed and ashamed. She could see those conflicting emotions building inside him, he looked so troubled and she so desperately wanted to understand why.

**R: Talk to me Jess. I won't interrupt and I won't judge. I just want to help you because something is obviously wrong here.**

She hoped that it wasn't her, she didn't ever want to be the reason for his pain. They were having problems but she wasn't prepared to lose him if she could help it. It felt like this was their last chance, if they didn't fix it now it would be too late.

**J: I can't go to the prom because I couldn't get tickets. I'm not graduating Rory. I haven't been going to school much...or at all really.  
**

**I didn't know how to tell you because I knew you'd be disappointed and ashamed of me and I couldn't deal with that. I have nothing Rory. I have nothing to offer you. I'm a joke and everyone in the fucking world is laughing at me.**

The worlds came tumbling out and it came as a surprising relief to unburden himself.

**J: I just couldn't tell you. **

**R: But you really could have Jess, you should have. If you don't understand that then I guess we do have a problem.**

**J: You guess we have a problem? Of course we have a problem! He's seven feet tall and constantly there to remind me of what a crappy boyfriend I am!**

**R: Jess, this is not abou-**

**J: You're Rory Gilmore! Little Miss Perfect Town Princess.**

**R: No I'm not! That's not me. You know that's not me.**

He wasn't listening to her, he was finally letting go of all the things he'd wanted to say but had been to afraid to let out. He had kept them all inside, bubbling away at the surface as the dark thoughts swirled behind his deep brown eyes. He had stopped brooding and thinking and started talking, and now he found that he couldn't stop.

**J: -And Dean! Let's talk about Dean! He was your perfect first boyfriend who did everything you asked him to, because he loved you and couldn't bare to lose you. But he did lose you Rory. You didn't want him because he was boring. I mean jeez the guy makes Richie Cunningham look like Sid Vicious.**

He barely paused for breath before continuing his almost therapeutic tirade.

**J: You want me to do all these things that I can't do and you think it means I don't care about you. Well maybe I don't show it with bracelets and all that other romantic shit but I do. I still love you just as much as he did, more than he did. But if you don't want me like this then I can't change. I can't be like him okay. I just can't.**

**R: But I don't want you to be like him. I chose you Jess. I want you. **

**J: Do you really though? Is this what you want? Is this enough?**

He stretched his arms wide and stepped backwards into the doorway as if to give her a better perspective. The words he had just said were still ringing loudly in her ears 'I still love you...' He had been shouting, ranting in an excellent imitation of his uncle Luke, but he had meant every word. They were both alike in that respect, it was easy to see the truth as it always came straight from their hearts, visibly drawn across their faces in a way that was impossible to disguise.

He stood there still and she could see the love in his eyes, not quite concealed by the pain he carried with him and she knew that he had almost given up. He thought he had already lost her, that he wasn't worth anything to anyone. But he was to her, he really was. How close he had come to leaving, she may never know but something had kept him there long enough for her to find him and she had to make him stay. Make him want to stay. Rory was happy before Jess came sauntering into her life, but then she hadn't known what she was missing. No one could hurt her like he could and yet no one else made her feel so alive. Just looking at him now caused her heart to race, beating out a furious rhythm inspired by his very presence alone. She allowed herself to take in every part of him, from the tattered green converse on his feet to the trademark leather jacket he wore so well and as she did so tears began to sparkle in her eyes.

**J: Yeah, I thought so. I can't be second best Ror-**

**R: No! You don't get to speak right now. I mean, I wanted you to talk to me and tell me what you were thinking, that's all I ever wanted from you Jess and I never got that. But now I know, I'm so glad I finally know how you feel. You seriously need to work on your communication skills but we can fix that.**

**J: I don't think I can be that guy Rory.** He couldn't look at her, he couldn't bare to build up his hopes only for her to realise he would never be what she wanted him to be.** I really want to be who you need but...**

**R: Jess you excite me and challenge me every single day that we're together. You're exactly what I need. You just have to let me in once in a while. I'm here to listen to you, you just have to let me. **He had been staring over her shoulder, thinking of the best route out of town but his gaze shifted as she spoke and he found the true blue of her eyes. He really wanted to stay, but he didn't want to hurt her anymore. There had been so many reasons for him to leave but now he couldn't think of one. She was looking at him, she saw everything he was and she still wanted him. **  
**

**J: I guess I could give that a try.  
**

As he spoke Rory sensed a change in him and he was staring at her so intensely that the words he needed to hear most seemed to appear fully formed in her mind. She spoke them without thinking, in one continuous breath and at a pace her mother would have envied.

** R: And I, um... wow, this is not as difficult to say as I thought it would be and when I imagined this moment it never happened like this but it's the words that matter and it feels right to say it now so I'm just going to say it because I think you really need to know…..I love you Jess.**

There was a pause but then she hadn't really expected a response, this was Jess, even monosyllables didn't come easily for him.

**R: You don't have to say it back, even though you kind of implied it earlier. I mean, I don't expect things to change completely overnight, you're still you and whenever you're ready is fine- **

He almost leaped across the three feet separating them and then stopped just as suddenly. He reached out to hold her in his arms, then changed his mind and grabbed each of her hands with one of his own. They looked into each others eyes and the whole world faded away for them both.

Her declaration had shocked him, he had expected her to be running away from him. He had imagined her and Lorelai at a table in Luke's, eating junk food and discussing her lucky escape from the town deadbeat. Inspired by the awakening feelings he had desperately tried to suppress, he threaded her delicate fingers through his own and said something he knew only she could fully appreciate.

**J: "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me". You stopped me Rory. Stopped me from running away and you stopped me from making a mess of my life. So I'm going to fix this. I promise. **

Rory was bemused and amazed.** You read The Fountainhead? **

She immediately recognized the quotation from one of her favourite novels. He nodded, his eyes full of warmth and suddenly self conscious about revealing his feelings. But there was nothing hidden now, no secret burden darkening his gaze.

**R: But you hate Ayn Rand! You've told me on more than one occasion that you think she's a political nut.**

**J: I know and I stand by that statement completely.**

**R: So why with the reading and memorising of quotations?**

**J: Because of you Rory. I want to read what you read even when we disagree, especially when we disagree. Which we will a lot because I gotta tell you, that part is the only bit that made any sense.**

She felt a sudden rush of tenderness towards him her firm, fiery city boy going against every thing he had ever known just to be with her.

**J: Oh and one more reason. **

**R: Ah ha! I knew there was a catch. I'm not reading Hemingway! I know you're real fond of old Ernie but I think he had some serious issues which I'm just not prepared to- **

Jess was only half listening to her as he focused instead on a more important task. He took in slow, deep breaths as he quietly gathered the courage to say what he never thought he could. He knew had to say it and he knew it had to be now because he might not ever feel this brave again. He knew that he loved her but he wasn't sure he was ready for the consequences of everyone finding out. The words were dancing at the seal of his lips, daring to be spoken and before he could talk himself out of it he let them escape.

**J: I love you. **

Rory froze as the sudden impact of his words hit her like a train. Her sentence hung in mid air as she lost every rational thought in her head. She had heard those words before, they had been just as unexpected but no where near as welcome. Those three little words had cost him so much to say and they meant the whole world to her because of it. A simple I love you from Jess was like a sonnet from anyone else. She looked up into those deliciously, dark eyes of his and they seemed to look straight into her soul. She felt like she had just been invited into his world, a secret place that no one else had ever been given permission to visit.

**R: This is where we begin Jess. A new start. Right here, right now. **

**J: Can we do this?**

**R: I really think we can. It won't be easy but…**

**J: …nothing worth having ever is. **

**R: Exactly.**

**J: So you've given us a new beginning... Can I choose our ending?**

**R: That seems fair to me. Did you have one in mind?**

**J: Well the whole suicide pact thing has been done to death. **

**R: It really has…and besides my mom and Luke would kill us.**

**J: Very true. You know, I don't think we should have an ending. They're always so cliché and I'm no good at goodbyes.**

**R: So we have a beginning, a middle and a forever. You're kind of screwing with a tried and tested formula there aren't ya mister?**

He shrugged and a dangerously, irresistible smile crept across his face.

**J: What can I say I'm a maverick. I've always been a leave them wanting more kind of guy.**

She looked straight at him and a crimson blush rose at her cheeks under the power of his electric gaze. She did want more, a lot more and she knew when the time was right it would be better than she could ever imagine.

**R: Thank you. For not leaving.**

**J: Thanks for giving me a reason to stay.** He paused struggling for the right words.** You're _it_ Rory. Whatever _'it'_ is I'm not sure. But it's definitely you.** He winced at how awkwardly he had put those feelings into words.

They were standing as close as it was possible to be and still not touching but he could feel the heat from her body radiating towards him.

**J: I'm not very good at saying the right thing at the right moment.**

**R: You know you're better than you think you are. You just need to do it more often.**

**J: Don't get too used to it. I like to keep you guessing Gilmore.**

**R: Ah yes my very own Mariano mystery man. **

**J: You know that sounds really cool. I was considering changing my name and I think that might be the one.** His comment was laced with sarcasm, his expression deadpan.

**R: Okay it is a little cutsie, but that's why you love me.**

Jess adopted a mock confused expression.

**J: I do? **

**R: You just said it.. you can't deny it.**

**J: What? **

She knew Jess was joking with her but she wasn't about to let him get out of it that easily.

**R: You can't take it back now.  
**

He smiled at her persistence. He enjoyed teasing Rory, it was what he did best.

**J: I have no idea what you're talking about.  
**

**R: I mean it Jess. I need you to talk to me about this kind of stuff. Tell me what you're feeling. When you're happy-**

**J: Oh I'm happy,** he wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her tight against him and closing the space between them. She softened under the intimacy of their renewed proximity.

**R: -And tell me when you're sad or angry or scared. Even Little Miss Perfect can't read minds Jess.**

**J: Huh, well I guess that means you're not quite perfect then doesn't it. **

A slow smile twitched at the corner of his lips.

**R: Okay, don't tell anyone else… but no, I'm not perfect. **

Jess knew he had never felt happier than he was at that moment. He looked at the girl he loved and as she smiled her sweetest, most irresistible smile all his fears disappeared. He couldn't be scared about the future and what it might bring as long as Rory stayed exactly where she was, right by his side. She made him feel like he could do anything and go anywhere and he liked that feeling. He liked that feeling a lot and it was one he only ever had when he was with her. It didn't really matter if it was real as long as Rory kept believing it, he could hope that one day it might come true.

**J: That makes two of us then.**

She leaned in towards him, the soft silky strands of her hair brushing against the exposed skin at his neck. She pressed her warm lips against his and kissed him, gently at first, then deeper with a growing urgency as her fingers twisted into the tangle of his hair. All the air seemed to leave his lungs as the force of her threatened to overwhelm him, his mouth opened under hers and he tasted the hot, sweetness of her with his tongue. She slowly, teasingly, pulled away from him, her eyes wide with an even wider grin to match.

**J: You might not be perfect, but you're pretty close.**

**R: And how exactly do I achieve this high level of perfection? **

**J: You know, I've heard they say practice makes perfect…**

**R: Really? Well it can't hurt to keep trying.**

**J: Oh yeah, we should definitely keep trying.**

**

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**It had to be a happy ending because I love Rory and Jess together! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. All reviews are more than welcome :D


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